Are You a Wrecker or a Builder?

In August of 2000, Elsie Holdren lost her job for being too kind!

The 68-year-old woman was a security guard at a courthouse in Florida. Her superiors wrote her a memo stating: “Due to your kindness and caring, you are compromising your position as a security officer. Being kind and caring is not a job requirement, nor is it what you are paid to do.” Ms. Holdren was transferred to another position.

If being too kind and caring were grounds for dismissal as an IOT, how many of us would be out of a job?

One of the most important ways we demonstrate kindness to our students is through our words -- when we talk casually with our students, when we teach our classes and when we evaluate practicums. We can either tear down or build up with our words.

Someone once wrote the following poem called, “A Wrecker or a Builder?” As you read it, ask yourself, "which one am I?"

I saw them tearing a building down,
A group of men in a busy town.
With a hefty blow and a lusty yell
They swung with zest and a side wall fell.

Asked of the foreman, “Are these men skilled?
The kind you would hire if you had to build?”
He looked at me and laughed, “No indeed!
Unskilled labor is all I need.

Why they can wreck in a day or two
What it has taken builders years to do!”
I asked myself as I went my way,
Which of these roles have I tried to play?

Are you a wrecker or a builder? You can’t deny the devastating effect harsh words can have on another person. Neither can you overestimate the value of edifying or building others up. Pascal wrote: “Cold words freeze people, and hot words scorch them. Bitter words make them bitter, and wrathful words make them wrathful. Kind words also produce their image on men’s souls. They sooth, quiet and comfort the hearer.”

Dr. Herbert Clark, a psychologist from Johns Hopkins University, has discovered with research the value of affirmation over criticism. His study has shown that it takes the average person about 48% longer to understand a sentence which uses a negative rather than a positive. People respond faster to positive affirmation than to negative criticism.

Wilbur and Orville Wright attributed their success in birthing the age of aviation to the affirmation they received at home. Orville wrote, “We were lucky enough to grow up in an environment where there was always encouragement to children to pursue intellectual interests, and to investigate whatever aroused curiosity.”

Howard Hendricks expresses the value of edifying and affirmation this way: “A pat on the back, though only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results!”

Scripture has much to say about how our words are to be edifying. In the book of Proverbs, Solomon wisely teaches a lot about how our words can either build or wreck. Proverbs 15 is especially filled with good thoughts. Paul also had some important things to say in the New Testament books of Ephesians and Colossians. Consider the following verses, taken from the New Living Translation (NLT):

Prov. 15:1 “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare."

Prov. 15:4 "Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."

Prov. 15:23 "Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!"

Prov. 15:30 "A cheerful look brings joy to the heart; good news makes for good health."

Eph. 4:29-30 "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."

Col. 4:6 "Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone."

How edifying and building are your words to your students? We talk about the importance of being positive in our evaluation, but it holds true in all of your communication with them. You can be edifying and positive in giving assignments, in giving directions—even in correcting wrong attitudes and behavior.

And remember, you not only edify by your words, but also by your actions. Positive words can easily be negated by negative actions. Do your actions back up what you say?

Unlike Elsie Holdren’s organization, it is not against CEF or TCE policy to be kind and caring! You won’t be putting your job at risk by doing so. But if you fail to be kind and caring, you may be putting CEF’s reputation and your own testimony at risk. More importantly, you will be dishonoring the God you serve.

Let's be instructors of teachers who are builders--known for our kindness--as we seek to edify our TCE students!

The Need to Reach Them as Children

Back in February we shared a testimony from one of our CMI Online students. In the TCE Level 1 course online, students are asked to post about their experience in sharing the Wordless Book with children.

The following testimony expresses the very point we strive to make with our TCE students—that we need to reach children while they are children, before their hearts become hardened to the Gospel.

Rosa (not her real name) just turned 15 the end of January. She is from El Salvador and is the sweetest, prettiest, brightest girl ever! I asked her if I could step outside of the tutoring and present the Gospel story to her. The reason I put it that way is that she has often told me how proud she is of being a Christian. She wears a beautiful gold cross and tells me she attends church every Sunday.

In a way I feel a little guilty. Why? Because first, she is not of the age group I am supposed to be working with; and second, she is probably already a child of the King. Still, I want to be able to write with integrity that I shared the message honestly, so Rosa accepted and I began.

I started with the gold page and she listened very attentively. I showed her the Bible I have with me and she looked at it lovingly. Then I showed her John 3:16 and we read the verse together. "For God so loved the world..." Again, she was right with me.

Then I began to go through the dark page, and she understood what sin is. She also understood that Jesus came from Heaven to die on a cross, was buried; and rose again. We read God's Word about Jesus shedding His blood for forgiveness, and her eyes became sad and she looked like she might cry. I asked her if she would like to become a child of God, and then she stopped. She looked at me and said she was not sure. She likes music, and not all of it is Christian. Then she exhibited incredible honesty and told me that she is not ready - with a clear heart - to become a Christian.

Wow. I smiled at her while asking God quietly, "Where do I go from here?" Well, God is so good. I told Rosa that it was a big step; that it was really wonderful of her to be honest; but that I had to tell her the choices were slim: one day she will meet Jesus in heaven or be forever separated from Him... she finished the sentence for me. But then I sensed she was struggling, so I handed her the Bible and told her how to read it; how the red sentences were the actual words of Jesus; how she might like to begin in the New Testament with the Gospel of Mark, and that we could talk anytime about being a Christian.

As I finish this post, the ending is in God's hands. I now understand what we learned early on in our course; how important it is to reach the little guys, for the world catches up with them really fast. My daily prayer list will now include Rosa, and I ask the rest of you to also keep her in your prayers.

You might want to use excerpts from this testimony in TCE classes such as, Importance of Conversion, Importance of Reaching the Child in the Neighborhood or How to Lead a Child to Christ. We so often share statistics about how most people come to Christ as children. Testimonies like this one are a good way to illustrate the truth that we need to reach children while they are children!

It is also a powerful reminder that we must not assume a child is a Christian just because he or she goes to church, wears a cross or even uses biblical terminology. We must question and probe a child’s understanding and bring him or her to a point of decision as God’s Spirit leads. Challenge your teachers to this end…and keep Rosa in your prayers.

The Way of the Cross

As we consider the incredible, life-changing events of Good Friday, when our Savior gave up His life for us, we must also turn our hearts toward the third day, when He arose in victory! There are many in our world who stop at the cross and never move on.

Poet Annie Johnson Flint reminds us in her poem, "The Way of the Cross," that the cross must lead us all the way through the tomb to the triumph of the resurrection!

Some of us stay at the cross,
Some of us wait at the tomb,
Quickened and raised with Christ
Yet lingering still in the gloom.

Some of us ‘bide at the Passover feast
With Pentecost all unknown,
The triumphs of grace in the heavenly place
That our Lord has made His own.

If the Christ who died had stopped at the cross,
His work had been incomplete.
If the Christ who was buried had stayed in the tomb,
He had only known defeat,

But the way of the cross never stops at the cross
And the way of the tomb leads on
To victorious grace in the heavenly place
Where the risen Lord has gone.

May you and your family experience anew the remembrance of what our Lord Jesus Christ suffered for you on the cross and then secured for you through His glorious resurrection!

Honey in Malaysia!

Our guest blogger this week comes all the way from Malaysia! Khoo Siew Ean is an instructor of teachers with CEF Malaysia. Siew Ean has been teaching Super Seminars with great success in her area, but she was concerned about the lack of commitment she often saw in the students (sound familiar?).

One day, God gave her a creative idea for helping her students make a definite commitment to reach the children. Now she challenges them to “make HONEY” in their ministry for God. Following is Siew Ean’s testimony and her HONEY commitment tool.

At the beginning of the seminar I actually introduce the participants to the butterfly, botanist and bee. It’s not my original idea I read it somewhere before and adapted it. But there was no commitment part. The (HONEY) idea came while walking in the shopping mall when I saw their promotion brochure for Valentine’s Day which had two bees holding a honey pot. I prayed and told the Lord since He gave me the idea please confirm it by letting the mall donate their leftover cards to CEF. So on the 15 February I went back to the mall in the morning to ask for the cards. They gladly gave me all their leftovers--about 600 cards! I had to paste on the card to cover the advertisement part so I could put on the commitment note.

I begin by asking the people what are their reasons for coming to the seminar:

“Some people visit from seminar to seminar just like the butterfly visiting one flower to another. Some are like the botanist, who makes sure that he takes detailed notes but once he closes his file he forgets everything. But there are some like the bee who come to collect pollen than make honey out of it.

“I hope that you come like a bee for this seminar. Come and learn and go back and put it into practice and reach children with the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. That is what this Super Seminar Basic is about - evangelism.”

I usually will get the participants to help me with the skit while I narrate. I bring along artificial flowers and a butterfly for a volunteer to hold and move around the flowers; a magnifying glass for the 'botanist' to examine the flowers and take notes on his file; a bee for another volunteer to hold and visit the flowers.

At the end of my seminar which is the next day, I go back to the three items and challenge them to be the bee and sign the card if they want to:

Hard work is expected in
Obeying God’s call, to
Nurture children in the Word of God, but first,
Evangelise them, and may
Yahweh’s name be glorified in all these!

I ( ) will prayerfully commit to make HONEY for the Lord by doing my best to put into practice what I have learnt from the Super Seminar Basic. Reaching boys and girls with the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ will be my priority.

Signed by:

Date:

To follow up and encourage each other we are hoping to form a prayer group. Please pray with us concerning this matter. If every area where there is a CEF training can establish a prayer group that will be a great blessing to the children's ministry in Malaysia.

Last weekend (21 & 22 March) was my first training for the year. We had about 100 participants. At the end of the training a commitment was given to make HONEY for God and we had 75% who signed and stood up to commit themselves to the Lord.

We thank Siew Ean for sharing her creative idea with us, and we praise God for the wonderful results He is giving the work in Malaysia. Let’s uphold our brothers and sisters around the world who are training teachers to reach children with the Gospel!